Tag Archives: work in progress

What are you so angry about?

I usually like to keep my posts about the art, but I recently had an epiphany and felt the need to share. I have been angry most of my adult life. Not that I ran around angry all the time, but it was always there, boiling just beneath the surface. I always blamed it on other people and their behavior. My ex, my family, people in traffic, etc, etc.

Since 2007, I’ve been on a search for inner peace. It’s been a long decade of reading tons of self help books, learning to meditate daily, creating art from my soul and self care. I’ve lost several friends along the way. Mainly because they weren’t comfortable with my changes and the fact that I was now standing up for myself. They didn’t like the “healthy” Paula.

I once had a shaman tell me that some people are like rocks in a backpack. Sometimes on the trail of life, we have to empty the rocks out of our backpack so we can lighten our load and be happy. Let’s just say my backpack was HEAVY with rocks. Not just people, but situations, memories and regrets. However, even after I dropped the rocks on the side of the trail, the anger was still there.

It’s been a long road and I finally feel like I’m moving on to the next decade of my life. The epiphany happened recently, after watching a video on facebook, of all places! Here’s the link: I highly recommend you WATCH this video!
https://www.facebook.com/comedien.voix.doublage/videos/10206832718043784/?hc_ref=OTHER&pnref=story

After I watched it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s so crazy obvious to me now! I have been angry at my 15 year old self for DECADES! I have been mad at myself for all the stupid choices I made, for not just saying NO to that 17 year old boy who got me pregnant. First of all, NO to sex, and then later, NO to marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, everything that happened in my life HAD to happen. If not, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. That said, I’ve been carrying this anger around all this time. All the resentment for how my life “could’ve” been or “should’ve” been.

It is what it is.

How can I still be angry at that young girl who was just looking for love and attention? I can’t. The fire has been extinguished. The anger is now sadness. Not a depressed sadness, but a melancholy sadness for all the anger I inflicted on my family and friends and everyone around me.

BUT, it’s OK! I finally GET IT! Now I move on to forgiveness. I have often wondered why, after forgiving literally EVERYONE who ever did me wrong, why was I STILL angry? It’s time to forgive myself. It’s time to tell that 15 year old girl that still lives within me, you’re ok, you’re loved, you’re FORGIVEN.

I will leave you with a work in progress, “The Best of Everything”.

"The Best of Everything", acrylic on 12" vinyl record, work in progress

“The Best of Everything”, acrylic on 12″ vinyl record, work in progress

I’m on a Roll!

“Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working” ~ Pablo Picasso

I never know where inspiration will come from. Whether or not it strikes, I paint. Sometimes inspiration comes in the middle of a painting. This time it came from a comment on facebook. One of my collectors commented on a progress photo of the beginning of a painting (painting above). She mentioned that she would love to see a moon image. I usually paint suns and flowers, but I hadn’t considered a moon until I read the comment. Needless to say, the painting became a moon image! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m now painting another moon image, a bit larger this time (painting below).ย  I had a few ideas I wanted to work on from the first attempt. The larger painting is a bit more refined now.

oil painting in progress

20×20″ oil painting on canvas, work in progress

Still a work in progress, I may end up painting a couple more moons so I can really refine it further. I’m enjoying this theme. What do you think?

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Work in Progress

"Go with the Flow", work in progress, 16x16" oil on canvas

“Go with the Flow”, work in progress, 16×16″ oil on canvas

More work on finishing up a painting I THOUGHT was done. I’m actually really glad I decided to put a little more work into it. Still have some work to do on this one, but it’s close. When I first started painting in my spiral abstract style (2002), I made the backgrounds VERY detailed with lots of little circles, spirals, lines and shapes. Somewhere along the way I strayed away from all the detail, mainly because it is VERY time consuming. Sometimes, time is needed! This painting has changed completely. I am so grateful for the honest critique I recently received. It was a huge turning point for my art. Watch out world, here I come!

Haha. I wish I was THAT confident! I am working on it anyway. Seriously though, after 26 years of making and selling my art, I think I’m getting SO close to my own unique style, now a finished style. For someone with zero patience, this is a great moment! It seems like I’ve been floundering around for so long. It feels good to have the feeling of accomplishing what I set out to do so many years ago. I can remember being afraid to even TRY painting. I started with a pencil and a brush was incredibly intimidating. If only I could go back in time and tell my younger self “it’s all about the journey, don’t be in such a rush! Contentment will eventually come if you keep working at it”. I can’t do that, obviously, so if you are a young artist reading this, listen. I’m talking to you! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I am no where near perfect! What would be the fun of coming to my studio everyday? It is true what they say about it taking 10,000 hours to master any skill. It feels like I finally crested the ridge of a huge mountain and 10,000 hours is right ahead of me at the bottom of the hill. Downhill from here folks! Funny thing is, I know way better than that! This feeling will pass like everything else. Good, bad, indifferent, everything passes. Meanwhile, I will enjoy the feeling while it lasts.

Something a Bit Different

Work in progress, 16 x 16" oil on canvas

Work in progress, 16 x 16″ oil on canvas

Working on yet another new painting. This one is a 16 x 16″ oil on canvas. Still in progress, what you see here is the background of what’s to come. Another black gesso ground to start, I’m seriously loving the black under painting. Though I almost forgot to leave a bit of the black showing!

Lots of stuff going on this week, it’s Balloon Fiesta week in Albuquerque and my uncle is visiting from Maine! I haven’t had as much time in the studio as usual. Partly because of family visitors and partly because we’ve been spending a lot of time practicing our music for a follow up gig at the Moonlight Market here in Albuquerque on Friday evening. It’s not easy to balance my art and my music, but it sure is FUN!

Next Saturday is Chroma Studios next monthly Open Studios Event. We have started opening up the studios to the public every 3rd Saturday of the month. Last month was a lot of fun, I sure hope you will drop by for a visit if you are in the area! The address is 1606 Central Ave SE, suite 201. We are open from Noon to 5pm. ๐Ÿ™‚

Painting Time

We had a lovely time at our Open Studio event this past Saturday! So much so that we are opening again next month. Stay tuned for more details.

Working on getting back to a regular painting schedule. Not always easy to do with everything else going on. I did however, get some time in front of my drawing table today. I worked on a couple of paintings that I shared a few weeks ago. They were started around the same time we had our plumbing problems. Still works in progress, I hope to get them finished up this week.

Work in progress, 12 x 12" oil on canvas, black gesso background.

Work in progress, 12 x 12″ oil on canvas, black gesso background.

The first is another test painting using black gesso. I must admit, I’m really enjoying the way these are turning out! I like how the black background really POPS the colors out from the canvas. I think I see a whole new phase of my art work coming around with the black backgrounds. Who knows? Only time will tell.

Another work in progress, 12 x 12" oil on canvas

Another work in progress, 12 x 12″ oil on canvas

The second painting has a white background, which still has it’s place! I like the airy quality of the lighter background. It feels happier to me too. Something about the color black has always connoted sadness for me. I’m working on getting past that stigma for the sake of the colors.

It can be difficult to let the work flow sometimes. I try to not let what other people think about my work, have an effect on my work. I am human. I WANT people to like my work. More importantly though, I need to like my work. I need to stop feeling the need to explain why I do certain things with my art. When I really cannot explain it.

My art is a feeling, a sense of what could be. It’s impossible to get that across in an abstract way without someone, somewhere having something bad to say about it. At the same time, there is always someone, somewhere that will have something good to say. I prefer to be happy with it no matter what ANYONE says. It’s MY art, MY feelings, MY expression. Not wanting to sound self-centered, it just is what it is. I’m not here to impress anyone. Expressing one’s self is what an artist does, it’s all I can do.

Chroma Studios Open House: Saturday, Sept. 17, 12-5pm

Reception area at Chroma Studios

Reception area at Chroma Studios

This Saturday from noon to 5pm I will be opening my studio to the public. Not just my studio, but 3-4 other artists in my building will also be here to show their work! It’s been years since we opened Chroma Studios to the public and I am so excited to share all the color and energy with you all! We have 11 studios in all, though not everyone is able to be open this time around.

We have 2 studios that are currently being moved out of, so we also have 2 studios opening up for new artists at the beginning of October. If you are looking for an art studio, stop by and see what we have available! We are always happy to welcome new artists into the Chroma Studios fold. ๐Ÿ™‚

Mixed Media by Dee Alexandria

Mixed Media by Dee Alexandria

I recently moved into a new studio that I’m sharing with another artist. Dee Alexandria has been a friend since we first met selling our art at the New Mexico State Fair almost 10 years ago! We decided to share a studio because neither of us needed a big studio to ourselves. Plus, it’s nice to have company in the studio. So often, artists are isolated from their peers. That is one of the things about Chroma Studios that makes it so nice! We have a community of artists here that help each other out. Mine and Dee’s work compliments each other perfectly as we both love color, flowers and spirals!

Landscape painting by Cynthia Zeedyk

Landscape painting by Cynthia Zeedyk

Cynthia Zeedyck is another artist who will have her studio open this Saturday. She is a lifelong artist with 45 years of training and experience in the arts, including: Fine Arts, Appalachian Arts, Poetry, many styles of Dance, Wildcrafting Herbs, and Poetry. Cynthia was awarded with an Apprenticeship Grant from Ohio Arts for Traditional Heritage Basket Making. Her works sold both nationally and internationally. She was the largest female producer of Heritage Berry Baskets in the world.ย  Her designs and creations include landscape paintings, floral and contemporary. Newest works in Scrimshaw. Cynthia has been a Chroma Artist since 2014.

Mixed Media by Robert Medina Cook

Mixed Media by Robert Medina Cook

Robert Medina Cook has been a Chroma Studios artist off and on for at least 5 years. He began his journey in the creative arts over forty years ago in Santa Fe, New Mexico. A native New Mexican whose local family roots go back centuries in Northern New Mexico, in 2012 Robert was one of 7 artists honored for their excellence in the arts by being proclaimed a “Local Treasure” by the Albuquerque Art Business Association. Featured in several publications, his artworks have won numerous awards and can be found in corporate, museum, public art and private collections throughout the US and abroad.

Mixed Media by Phillip Vigil

Mixed Media by Phillip Vigil

Phillip Vigil (Jemez Pueblo/Chiricahua Apache) is a fourth-generation artist residing in Jemez Pueblo. He is new to Chroma Studios. He is a self-taught artist and has been working seriously on his art now for several years. He always had a love of art since he realized at a young age that the paintings on the walls were done by members of his family. He is highly influenced by the abstract modernists of the early and late 20th century. He works a lot on paper with oil pastels, oil sticks, oil paint sticks, spray paint, oil and acrylic paint as well.

 

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Work in Progress…

It’s been really nice having time in the studio the past couple of weeks. Makes me feel a bit guilty since my hubby is stuck at home digging up the sewer pipes in the back yard! We had our house all ready to sell, it’s actually on the market now, and now we have a MAJOR plumbing disaster happening in our back yard! Turns out the sewer lines that we thought were “slow”(just old and clogged) are actually filled with holes and collapsed in some places. My husband and son have been digging for days and today was the day they hoped to uncover the connection to the main sewer line.

Trench in my back yard

Trench in my back yard! It now keeps going around the corner of the house at the end.

Unfortunately, that was not to be. It turns out, our sewer line from our kitchen and back bathroom/laundry room actually lead into a 5o gallon barrel, old rusty barrel. You see, our house was built way back when in 1950, and I guess the original house was on a septic tank (if that’s what they called a septic tank back then!) UPDATE: My hubby just called to let me know that the barrel was NOT a septic tank after all, it was actually buried ABOVE the pipes! UGH! Good news is the pipe keeps going, so no septic to remove, but there is still that barrel…

Work in progress, 12 x 12" oil on canvas

Work in progress, 12 x 12″ oil on canvas

While my poor sweetie has been digging in the back yard, I’ve been busy creating new paintings and getting ready for my Open Studio event coming up at Chroma Studios! I am having an art sale on that day to help contribute to our plumbing fund! If you aren’t local, stay tuned as I will post paintings here for sale as well! ๐Ÿ™‚

Work in progress, 12 x 12" oil on canvas, this one has a black gesso background!

Work in progress, 12 x 12″ oil on canvas, this one has a black gesso background!