Tag Archives: ARTIST

What are you so angry about?

I usually like to keep my posts about the art, but I recently had an epiphany and felt the need to share. I have been angry most of my adult life. Not that I ran around angry all the time, but it was always there, boiling just beneath the surface. I always blamed it on other people and their behavior. My ex, my family, people in traffic, etc, etc.

Since 2007, I’ve been on a search for inner peace. It’s been a long decade of reading tons of self help books, learning to meditate daily, creating art from my soul and self care. I’ve lost several friends along the way. Mainly because they weren’t comfortable with my changes and the fact that I was now standing up for myself. They didn’t like the “healthy” Paula.

I once had a shaman tell me that some people are like rocks in a backpack. Sometimes on the trail of life, we have to empty the rocks out of our backpack so we can lighten our load and be happy. Let’s just say my backpack was HEAVY with rocks. Not just people, but situations, memories and regrets. However, even after I dropped the rocks on the side of the trail, the anger was still there.

It’s been a long road and I finally feel like I’m moving on to the next decade of my life. The epiphany happened recently, after watching a video on facebook, of all places! Here’s the link: I highly recommend you WATCH this video!
https://www.facebook.com/comedien.voix.doublage/videos/10206832718043784/?hc_ref=OTHER&pnref=story

After I watched it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s so crazy obvious to me now! I have been angry at my 15 year old self for DECADES! I have been mad at myself for all the stupid choices I made, for not just saying NO to that 17 year old boy who got me pregnant. First of all, NO to sex, and then later, NO to marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, everything that happened in my life HAD to happen. If not, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. That said, I’ve been carrying this anger around all this time. All the resentment for how my life “could’ve” been or “should’ve” been.

It is what it is.

How can I still be angry at that young girl who was just looking for love and attention? I can’t. The fire has been extinguished. The anger is now sadness. Not a depressed sadness, but a melancholy sadness for all the anger I inflicted on my family and friends and everyone around me.

BUT, it’s OK! I finally GET IT! Now I move on to forgiveness. I have often wondered why, after forgiving literally EVERYONE who ever did me wrong, why was I STILL angry? It’s time to forgive myself. It’s time to tell that 15 year old girl that still lives within me, you’re ok, you’re loved, you’re FORGIVEN.

I will leave you with a work in progress, “The Best of Everything”.

"The Best of Everything", acrylic on 12" vinyl record, work in progress

“The Best of Everything”, acrylic on 12″ vinyl record, work in progress

I’m on a Roll!

“Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working” ~ Pablo Picasso

I never know where inspiration will come from. Whether or not it strikes, I paint. Sometimes inspiration comes in the middle of a painting. This time it came from a comment on facebook. One of my collectors commented on a progress photo of the beginning of a painting (painting above). She mentioned that she would love to see a moon image. I usually paint suns and flowers, but I hadn’t considered a moon until I read the comment. Needless to say, the painting became a moon image! 🙂 I’m now painting another moon image, a bit larger this time (painting below).  I had a few ideas I wanted to work on from the first attempt. The larger painting is a bit more refined now.

oil painting in progress

20×20″ oil painting on canvas, work in progress

Still a work in progress, I may end up painting a couple more moons so I can really refine it further. I’m enjoying this theme. What do you think?

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Lots to share!

 

I have and continue to have a busy week! So much to share with you all, I’m not sure what to share first. I FINALLY figured out my camera set up for making painting videos! I must admit I’ve been in avoidance mode for years with this one, having no idea how to do this. Funny thing is, I stumbled upon a solution! We recently purchased an iPad holder that attaches to my mic stand so I can have my song list and song lyrics easily accessible when Sunlight is out playing a show. The first time I attached it I thought, hey, I could totally use this for making my painting videos! If you know me at all, you know I LOVE efficiency! I now have an iPad holder that serves not one, but TWO purposes. lol. I know, I’m a dork, but I was just so excited to stumble on this solution!

Painting Video

A couple of days ago I started a new canvas and I’m currently testing my set up. It’s working perfectly! If you don’t already follow me on Instagram, you can see some teaser videos there. I will share just one of them here on the blog, for now! Once the painting is finished I will share the entire painting video here on the blog and on my youtube channel. Stay tuned for LOTS more!

Another thing keeping me busy this week is a Sunlight gig on Friday evening at the Moonlight Market here in Albuquerque. The week of a gig always means lots of practice time too! We play from 6-8pm and would love to see a friendly face or 10 in the audience! You can also browse the artist market or get some food from the food truck while you listen. 🙂

The final, last but not least, thing to share this week is my Open Studio Event at Chroma Studios on Saturday! Three other artists and I will have our studios open to the public. I’m currently working on pieces for my updated portfolio. This means I have many paintings that aren’t going to make the cut. Not because they are awful, but because they don’t fit my criteria for my portfolio. What this means is they are either older pieces, too small for a gallery, part of a series I’m no longer promoting, etc. They are all perfectly good paintings, but I am currently in need of a bit of cash flow! Mama needs some more art supplies! I will have selected pieces on sale for up to 60% off! Now is a perfect time to add a Paula Manning-Lewis original to your art collection, or start your art collection!

Work in Progress…

It’s been really nice having time in the studio the past couple of weeks. Makes me feel a bit guilty since my hubby is stuck at home digging up the sewer pipes in the back yard! We had our house all ready to sell, it’s actually on the market now, and now we have a MAJOR plumbing disaster happening in our back yard! Turns out the sewer lines that we thought were “slow”(just old and clogged) are actually filled with holes and collapsed in some places. My husband and son have been digging for days and today was the day they hoped to uncover the connection to the main sewer line.

Trench in my back yard

Trench in my back yard! It now keeps going around the corner of the house at the end.

Unfortunately, that was not to be. It turns out, our sewer line from our kitchen and back bathroom/laundry room actually lead into a 5o gallon barrel, old rusty barrel. You see, our house was built way back when in 1950, and I guess the original house was on a septic tank (if that’s what they called a septic tank back then!) UPDATE: My hubby just called to let me know that the barrel was NOT a septic tank after all, it was actually buried ABOVE the pipes! UGH! Good news is the pipe keeps going, so no septic to remove, but there is still that barrel…

Work in progress, 12 x 12" oil on canvas

Work in progress, 12 x 12″ oil on canvas

While my poor sweetie has been digging in the back yard, I’ve been busy creating new paintings and getting ready for my Open Studio event coming up at Chroma Studios! I am having an art sale on that day to help contribute to our plumbing fund! If you aren’t local, stay tuned as I will post paintings here for sale as well! 🙂

Work in progress, 12 x 12" oil on canvas, this one has a black gesso background!

Work in progress, 12 x 12″ oil on canvas, this one has a black gesso background!

 

 

Overcoming my Addiction to Facebook

This will be my final post on this subject. I feel like I’ve overcome the addiction! Yay! I still go to facebook, but I don’t get sucked in like I did before. I don’t spend hour upon hour staring at my news feed. I haven’t had a heated discussion in weeks.

I’ve made it to the second section of my online web development course. I can now build a very simple website in html with simple CSS. This is pretty exciting as I’ve now gone past the point of knowledge I had in college (2000). Mainly because everything from this point on is new information! I’m not quite to the point where I can build the website I want, but I’m getting there.

I’m back to painting again! It had been almost a year since I had pulled my paints and brushes out. It feels good to be creative and feel the movement of paint across the canvas. I’m still a bit rusty, as happens after not painting for that long a period of time, but it’s coming back quickly.

Jemez Mountains

Jemez Mountains

Yesterday, Aaron and I made a trip up north to Los Alamos to deliver more pillows and dolls to the Fuller Lodge Art Gallery. They have already sold a couple of pieces! YAY! It was a lovely drive home! We took the back road through the Jemez mountains, nothing quite like a drive through the forest to make me feel grounded. Unfortunately, we wore the wrong shoes so we couldn’t get out for a hike. Next time, for sure!

3, 2, 1….

photo of our view of Albuquerque from our neighborhood park

Our favorite view of Albuquerque, from our neighborhood park, Pat Hurley Park.

The countdown is almost over! In two days we will be pulling out of Albuquerque in our vintage Travelmate motor home and embarking on our latest adventure!

The past month has gone by so slowly, yet here we are, about to leave. We had a huge list of things we had to take care of before we could leave for a long absence. There were home repairs and improvements that had to be done so we could rent our house. We had to move all of our belongings that didn’t fit in the RV into storage. There was painting to be done at Chroma Studios. We had chickens to find a new home for. Our two male dogs had to be neutered! Plus, a bunch of other things here and there that popped up.

We do, in fact, still own a business here in Albuquerque. Chroma Studios is still here and going strong. Luckily, for us, it doesn’t take a lot of time to run and our youngest son is looking for experience with managing a business. He is currently enrolled at our local community college, majoring in business. What better way to learn about business than to manage one? He will take care of day to day operations, though we will still oversee everything from afar.

photo of my new painting area in RV

My new space for painting, yes, it’s the table in our RV!

Because we have spent the last month working on preparations for our adventure, we have had to put our music and art businesses on the back burner for the most part. I am so excited to get back to being creative again! It is the one thing that keeps me sane! Let’s just say this past month has been pretty crazy! We did get a few opportunities here and there to be creative, but now, we will be spending ALL our time on our creative endeavors.

I have a new art project to get moving on, we have new songs to write and learn, and of course, I will be blogging regularly about our latest adventures in travel!

Our first stop is a personal one, we will head south on I-25 to Las Cruces, New Mexico to visit with my brother and his wife for about a week before we go west to Arizona. There may also be a stopover in the Gila National Forest for a bit of decompression time, ie peace and quiet away from everything!

My plan/goal is to post a new blog every Tuesday, possibly Thursdays too. If you aren’t already subscribed to my blog, now would be a great time to do so! Stay tuned for more about our adventure! 🙂

It’s all about making a decision….and sticking to it!

I am pretty wishy washy, I’ll admit it. I have always had a difficult time making decisions and sticking to them. Not big decisions, no problems there. I have always known, since around the age of 15, that I would be an artist. Come hell or high water, there was no deviating from that decision.

Where I get wishy washy is in the how. I usually start out each year by evaluating what worked in the past year and what didn’t. Looking over past goals, deciding which ones worked or which ones I am still working towards.

Being creative can sometimes be a curse. Seriously. I have so many ideas and projects I would like to try out. It can be difficult to stay focused and follow through. A new “better” idea will come around and then I move on without finishing what I was working on.

Or procrastination will rear it’s ugly head and I will stop my focus all together. This is not always a bad thing, because what usually happens at that point is that I give up and spend all of my time painting. It can become a bad thing when I give up completely and start working on something totally unrelated to my art.

I spent a couple of years as a substitute teacher and then went back to college for a semester thinking I would become a teacher. It wasn’t until half way through the semester that I realized I had totally derailed my art career and had no desire whatsoever to be a teacher! I usually get derailed by people telling me “you should do this or that”. Then there was the two years I spent as a gallery owner. At first I told myself it would be great to have my own gallery, a permanent place to show my work with my studio in the back and help other artists while I’m at it. Then it turned into resentment because I never had time to create my own art.

I am starting to understand why most successful artists are in their 40s and older. Because it takes that long to finally settle into being an artist and not struggling to figure out your path as an artist. I have spent the majority of this year working on sharpening my focus and figuring out exactly what I need to do and how.

This morning I have finally come to what I think (hope) will be a final decision. I am an ARTIST! Not just a capital A, but ALL CAPS! This has always been my deepest desire! Creating art! I am an ARTIST before everything else…..NOW. This is what I must focus on. My sons are all grown now, I have time to myself, no more excuses, alibis or procrastination! I am an ARTIST! 🙂 Stay tuned…………..