Category Archives: healing

What are you so angry about?

I usually like to keep my posts about the art, but I recently had an epiphany and felt the need to share. I have been angry most of my adult life. Not that I ran around angry all the time, but it was always there, boiling just beneath the surface. I always blamed it on other people and their behavior. My ex, my family, people in traffic, etc, etc.

Since 2007, I’ve been on a search for inner peace. It’s been a long decade of reading tons of self help books, learning to meditate daily, creating art from my soul and self care. I’ve lost several friends along the way. Mainly because they weren’t comfortable with my changes and the fact that I was now standing up for myself. They didn’t like the “healthy” Paula.

I once had a shaman tell me that some people are like rocks in a backpack. Sometimes on the trail of life, we have to empty the rocks out of our backpack so we can lighten our load and be happy. Let’s just say my backpack was HEAVY with rocks. Not just people, but situations, memories and regrets. However, even after I dropped the rocks on the side of the trail, the anger was still there.

It’s been a long road and I finally feel like I’m moving on to the next decade of my life. The epiphany happened recently, after watching a video on facebook, of all places! Here’s the link: I highly recommend you WATCH this video!
https://www.facebook.com/comedien.voix.doublage/videos/10206832718043784/?hc_ref=OTHER&pnref=story

After I watched it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s so crazy obvious to me now! I have been angry at my 15 year old self for DECADES! I have been mad at myself for all the stupid choices I made, for not just saying NO to that 17 year old boy who got me pregnant. First of all, NO to sex, and then later, NO to marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, everything that happened in my life HAD to happen. If not, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. That said, I’ve been carrying this anger around all this time. All the resentment for how my life “could’ve” been or “should’ve” been.

It is what it is.

How can I still be angry at that young girl who was just looking for love and attention? I can’t. The fire has been extinguished. The anger is now sadness. Not a depressed sadness, but a melancholy sadness for all the anger I inflicted on my family and friends and everyone around me.

BUT, it’s OK! I finally GET IT! Now I move on to forgiveness. I have often wondered why, after forgiving literally EVERYONE who ever did me wrong, why was I STILL angry? It’s time to forgive myself. It’s time to tell that 15 year old girl that still lives within me, you’re ok, you’re loved, you’re FORGIVEN.

I will leave you with a work in progress, “The Best of Everything”.

"The Best of Everything", acrylic on 12" vinyl record, work in progress

“The Best of Everything”, acrylic on 12″ vinyl record, work in progress

How Does an Artist Support a Cause?

There are many ways to do this, but they all involve ART! I donate to several causes throughout the year. Either by donating a piece for a silent auction or by giving a percentage of sales to the cause. This Summer I’m helping a couple GREAT causes!

Strat guitar painting

My latest recycled guitar painting. This will also be my first PLAYABLE guitar painting once it’s done! Showing at the Sierra Club in August.

If you’ve been following the blog, you know I currently have 22 pieces showing at the New Mexico Cancer Center Gallery With a Cause until August 25th. 40% of the sales will benefit the NMCC Foundation. This wonderful foundation helps cancer patients cover non-medical expenses while they are in treatment. Great cause, right?! I’m honored to be included in such an amazing show with over 20 other awesome artists. You can see the pieces I have in the show on the NMCC Gallery With a Cause website. If you see something you like, just give them a call and they will handle the sale. You can also buy direct from my website and the 40% will still be donated to the cause.

Another cause near and dear to me is the environment, our wilderness areas and public lands. I regularly donate to the Sierra Club because I feel we need to protect our Mother Earth. From the Sierra Club, Rio Grande Chapter website:

The Rio Grande Chapter of the Sierra Club is a volunteer-led organization representing more than 7,000 members in New Mexico and West Texas. Our mission is to explore, enjoy and protect the planet, and we prioritize action on protecting our climate, clean air, clean water, and conservation of wildlife and public lands in New Mexico and West Texas.”

Recycled Vinyl Record Painting

Recycled Vinyl Record painting, finished today, this one will also be shown at the Sierra Club in August.

I am showing my art at the local Albuquerque offices of the Sierra Club in August. I’m excited about this exhibit, as I will be showcasing my recycled art. A recently painted guitar and my recycled vinyl paintings will be featured. The opening reception will be the First Friday in August. I’m not sure just yet how much of sales will go to the Sierra Club, but I will let you know as soon as I do. I will share more information about this show in the coming month.

 

New Mexico Cancer Center Gallery Show

"Find Your Shine", 24 x 30" oil on canvas, $1,050

“Find Your Shine”, 24 x 30″ oil on canvas, $1,050, just one of the 22 images in the show

On June 3rd I spent the morning with around 20 other artists, hanging our pieces at the NM Cancer Center for the Summer show, “Artists on the Rise”. Below is the flyer with all the information about the opening reception, “Walk and Talk” event and gallery hours. The gallery is open by appointment only out of respect for the privacy of the patients receiving treatment. Please join us for the opening THIS Sunday from 4-7pm. I would greatly appreciate your votes for the People’s Choice award! This show has been a long time coming, I first applied to show here several years ago. I’m excited to show/sell my work for a great cause! New Mexico Cancer Center Foundation is a non-profit organization solely dedicated to raising funds to alleviate non-medical needs for cancer patients. 40% of each art sale goes to the foundation and is tax-deductible. See you there! Even if you can’t make it to the show, of any and all sales of the 22 pieces I have showing, 40% will go to the NM Cancer Center Foundation. Whether you purchase at the show, or on my website.

2017 6, front

Mural Sketch in Progress

The video above is the sketch for the mural I’m getting ready to start. This small 12 x 12″ painting is 1/10th the size the mural will be. It will be painted on an outside wall on the back patio. The people I’m painting it for have a very lovely garden yard and I am excited to see how my art will look among the trees and flowers. I picked Spring colors for that very reason. Then, even when it’s not Spring, they will be reminded of the yard when it’s in bloom! The idea is that the Sun mural will shine year round. I hope they like the design. πŸ™‚

Now that I’m all finished with the work for the NM Cancer Center Gallery show, I’m switching gears to start work on a mural job I’m very excited to get started! I do have another art show to get ready for, but that deadline is in July and I don’t have as many pieces to get together for it. However, I will be starting a new guitar painting for that show, very soon!

My art show in August is at the local Albuquerque Sierra Club offices. I’ve decided to make it a recycled art show, with the center piece being one of my guitar paintings. There will also be plenty of recycled vinyl record paintings too! πŸ™‚

My first Mandala painting class!

My first Mandala painting class!

This past Saturday was my very first Mandala painting class! I had 3 people attend and we had so much fun! Huge thanks to the folks who decided to spend their Saturday evening with me. Stay tuned for the next class, I will be picking a date very soon!

Mandala Painting class

Mandala Painting class

 

Some Days I Just Push Through

New paintings on the wall and a halfway clean studio!

New paintings on the wall and a halfway clean studio!

Some days, being an artist is just plain painful. Why did I choose this occupation? What was I thinking?! Is it too late to give up and start a new career? Would I even be able to give it up? NO! I guess I’m stuck in this self imposed torture for the rest of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so very grateful that I get to do what I LOVE! Painting is my true bliss! It’s all the other crap that goes along with it that makes it painful. I won’t go into all of that because I’m trying to turn myself around here and be, just BE positive and grateful. Success just seems to keep alluding me. Maybe I’m on the verge? Maybe tomorrow I will sell 20 paintings and all will be ok, right? Life is a journey and I can’t deny, I got on this train, no one forced me at gunpoint! No one to blame but myself. Days like today, I daydream of some mindless job I could do daily to pay the bills, then I remember the last “job” I had. That didn’t work out very well. Oh well. Meditate, pray, paint, wash, rinse and repeat! What else can I do? This is my life. I have some good art shows coming up! I have a new website! Things are looking up, right? Today, I have an interview with a fellow artist for a blog post she is going to write about me. I NEED to get back into a positive frame of mind. Nothing worse than being that pessimistic older artist telling the younger artist how wonderful it’s all been. She knows better than that, but still.

"Find Your Shine", 24 x 30" oil on canvas, $1,050

“Find Your Shine”, 24 x 30″ oil on canvas, $1,050

Alrighty then! Enough wallowing in self pity! Today I’m pushing through to get my paintings ready for the NMCCG show that hangs at the beginning of June. Hanging wires to be added, signatures on those paintings I forgot to sign, small details. Along with that, finishing painting an artist studio that just rented and will be moved in to on Saturday. Getting my studio ready for a Mandala painting class also on Saturday.

"Healing Bloom", 20 x 20" oil on canvas, $600

“Healing Bloom”, 20 x 20″ oil on canvas, $600

I guess writing all this stuff out helps! I feel better already. I guess I’d better get back to work. Hope you all are having a great day. Oh and the paintings in this blog are the last 3 I finished for the show that I teased about in my last post! I decided to go ahead and share them, just in case someone has their name on one of them! πŸ˜‰ (Always gotta work it ya know?!)

"Sunshine", 20 x 20" oil on canvas, $600

“Sunshine”, 20 x 20″ oil on canvas, $600

Two Paintings in Time-lapse

The past couple of weeks I’ve been busily working on two new paintings in preparation for the New Mexico Cancer Center Gallery show opening in June. I usually work on more than one painting at a time. Because I work in layers, there is always time in between waiting for the oil paints to dry. While I wait for a layer to dry on one painting, I start and work on another painting. I go back and forth between the two until I finish. I’ve been taking short clips of time lapse while working on these two and figured it might be cool to show you the back and forth. These videos are mixed in the order they were taken. My goal is to finish these paintings this week and next week I will start on the next two. The four new paintings will be added to the 21 I already have ready to go for a total of 25 paintings in the show. I hope you enjoy the video and please feel free to share!

Works in Progress…

I love it when I have a show coming up and I have a reason to paint EVERYDAY! I don’t always get to spend this much time painting. There is so much other work to do and it seems like I’ve spent the past few months working on my website. It was really only about a month of straight time working on the website, but that kind of work just drags SOOOOOO much! πŸ™‚ Good news is, I’m temporarily done with that and getting ready for showing my 20-25 paintings at the New Mexico Cancer Center Gallery. Did I mention before that 40% of all sales at this show are donated to their foundation which helps low income patients pay for their cancer treatment? I love that. I prefer my art supports great causes like this. My art is all about healing and love, what better way to contribute!

Work in progress, 20x20" oil on canvas

Work in progress, 20×20″ oil on canvas

I have four canvases prepped to go, currently working back and forth on two of them. I have to admit, I’m a bit obsessed with circles right now. In the background, hundreds of little circles. It’s like a bunch of little bubbles, water or air, makes no difference. It’s very mesmerizing, painting all those little circles. It gets me into my “zone”.

Work in progress, 20x20" oil on canvas

Work in progress, 20×20″ oil on canvas

I’m working on the same paintings I shared in my last blog post. One with a new color combo that I’m really falling in love with. Something about that sky blue makes me swoon. As I said in my last post, blue is NOT one of my favorite colors, but this blue is beautiful! It reminds me of the bright, blue New Mexico skies. It may become a new regular on my palette. Funny thing is, it’s been so long since I used this particular blue, that I can’t get the cap off the tube! I’m squeezing the paint out of a tiny hole in the body of the tube. Needless to say, I need to pick up a new tube of that color!

In other news, I’m having a special sale on my website for Mother’s Day! The sale ends this Friday, May 5th (gives me time to get everything shipped in time). Use the coupon code: Mom30 to get 30% off everything on my website. πŸ™‚