After all the excitement of the past couple of weeks, I find my self living in funky town. In a funk, that is. I’m not complaining, just coming down from the elation of all the excitement has left me feeling sad, thinking about my dad and wishing he could be here. I know, I know, he’s always with me, in my heart and all that crap. It just isn’t the same as having him here to talk to, to go out to dinner with, talk on the phone with, etc. etc. At first, I thought I had mad it through the first year without having a real problem, grieving time is over, right? Nope. It’s so true that it comes in waves. I guess it’s maybe the overwhelm of the excitement dying down and reality setting in. Don’t get me wrong, my life is a dream! I’m so very blessed and maybe a little lucky to be living the life of my dreams, but it’s all just a bit bittersweet without my dad here to share it with. I always told him that one day I would make it with my art career and I would be able to take care of him, I counted on it. All the years he helped me out with bills, bought clothes for the boys, took us out to dinner, put gas in the car. I was supposed to be his “retirement plan” I never got the chance and it just kills me. I feel like I failed him in that way. I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself and I should just snap out of it. So many people would love to be in my position, but what’s the trade off? It just doesn’t seem worth it some days. I would give it all back to have my dad here!
OK, I’m done with my “pity party” as my dad used to call it. Got it off my chest and now I feel better! Thanks to the Universe for giving me all this joy to help me feel better about losing dad. My life rocks! I’m so very grateful for everything that has come my way in the past year, I KNOW my dad had something to do with it, from where ever he is now. Thanks Dad! I can feel your love even now!
One of these days I will get back to my art work and take this blog back to being my art blog, I apologize to those of you who come here to see my art! By the way, I have listed my new series of Painted vinyl records (dedicated to my dad) in my Etsy shop. Just mention you read about them here on my blog and get $20 off!