One Year without my Daddy

photos of my dad and family

photos of my dad and family

I can hardly believe I’ve made it through a year without my dad! One year ago today about this time in the evening, we were driving down to Las Cruces to be with my brother and family after dad died suddenly of a heart attack. That fateful morning around 8:30 am, my dad had called to let me know he made a trip to the emergency room the night before. He was having what he called “mild chest pains”, but after spending a few hours at the hospital he “said” the pain had gone away, so not being one to stick around a hospital for long, he went home around 3 am. When he called me the next morning, he was already at school to teach his high school students for the day. I got irritated with him and told him he’d better call his doctor and go in to get checked out. He insisted he was feeling better and said “if it’s my time to die, it’s my time, who cares!” Just like my dad! He had had an earlier heart attack 6 years previous to this one, had open heart surgery, and had been telling my brother and me for years that he would NEVER go through that again. He always said, “If I think I’m having another heart attack, I’m going home, lying down, and going to sleep”. I argued with him about it every time, with no luck. He insisted he wouldn’t let them open him up again. The pain was too much.

Me and dad on my wedding day

Me and dad on my wedding day

Well, that is exactly what he did! Everyone tells me I should be happy that he went the way he said he would. Selfishly, I just want my daddy back! He passed away the day before his 65th birthday, tomorrow would have been his 66th. He was finally going to retire from teaching(38 years) that spring and move in with me and my family. I was so looking forward to spending more time with him. We had even started moving his records into our house in Albuquerque.

 

Since that day, one year ago, my life has been hard AND better than ever! So ironic, but so fitting! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is up there, out there, wherever it is that our souls go, watching over me, pulling strings for me, making things happen for me! Last year was both the worst and the best year of my life! This year is quickly shaping up to be even better! If you don’t believe me check out my other WEBSITE! Today, the one year anniversary of the day I lost my dad, one of my best friends, so many things have happened that are so amazing I can hardly believe it! I miss you daddy, but I thank you too, for always being with me, for visiting me in my dreams, for inspiring me to always think positive and for being right when you told me that “life goes on”. I never dreamed I could live without you, but I have, somehow, gone on and I have found happiness again! Even though I cry as I write this, they are tears of joy and love.

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One response to “One Year without my Daddy

  1. I haven’t been reading your blog for very long, but I’ve been a fan of your art (found via etsy) for a little while. this entry was really moving.
    I still have my dad and can’t imagine not having him, but I know it’s going to happen soon enough.
    *sniff, sniff*

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